A Fair Affair To Remember

I have a Controversial and Unpopular Opinion and here’s why:

“This is the slowest Family Day I’ve seen at the Fair in 20 years working. Other folks said it’s the slowest in 25.”

An actual concessions employee said this to me this evening as she was on her dinner break, sitting at the end of a picnic table just off the Midway as my family & friends occupied the rest of the table. She was halfheartedly enjoying her wood-fired pizza; we were polishing off the remains of fried pickles, a bloomin’ onion, and some fried mac & cheese bites.

Because State Fair! And I hate myself!

The first Monday of The Ohio State Fair is Family Day, and we have made a new tradition in the last few years of going with some close friends of ours who have a daughter just a few months older than my own. It is usually hot & muggy, teeming with people from around the state looking to have some good, old fashioned fun – gorging on fried everything, feeding animals at the petting zoo, perusing the cows (both butter and otherwise), and getting cheap thrills on the various rides.

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As you probably heard, tragedy struck on a ride during that very first night of the Fair.

Reactionary Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit responded exactly as you may expect – horribly, calling for boycotts of the Fair because they didn’t shut everything down for the rest of the week. Social Media wanted to cancel Christmas because a young man died. These trolls vowed to actively prevent people from going to the fair.

I didn’t see anyone putting up barricades or stopstix on the streets or up on I-71. I didn’t see any picket lines or signs or marches.

However, I definitely noticed a significant decrease in attendance compared to the mob scene that was Family Day 2016.

The bit about “canceling Christmas” is not hyperbole. For the *thousands* of people that rely on The Ohio State Fair (and so many others on the fair circuit), the window for generating income to support their families is very small. They need our hard-earned dollars to become their hard-earned dollars because that is how capitalism works even though capitalism is the worst and I’m about to defend it sort of and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Look: I feel for the business owners & employees at the State Fair who are really struggling this year.

I feel for the families of those who were directly effected by the accident on the ride during the first evening.

You’re allowed to have empathy for both. I’m allowed to have empathy for both.

A ride breaks, a teenager entering the prime of life dies horrifically, accidentally. That is profoundly sad. I’m not a monster – I have a child myself, and I’d be devastated if something like this would ever happen to her.

BUT: there is no safer time to ride these rides than RIGHT NOW. Every qualified & experienced eyeball in the amusements business is on those things constantly this week to make sure everything about those rides is up to scratch and beyond. I let my 5 year-old ride many of them tonight, and my good friends also let their 5 year-old ride. We did so without fear because we understand that the eyes of the world are on Ohio right now, and no one in charge of these things wants a repeat performance of that first night.

I kinda want to thank all the reactionary social media army for scaring people enough to stay away – the weather was perfect this evening, and the crowds were minimal. The Twitter trolls made my State Fair experience tolerable to the point of actual enjoyment.

I don’t want to diminish the damage caused by the accident, truly. Keep in mind, however, that each of those people on the ride had a better chance of dying in their car on the way to the fair than dying on that ride – what happened was both tragic and actually one-in-a-million.

See: I told you this was a controversial and unpopular opinion.

So: if you’re in Ohio, go to The State Fair sometime over the next 8 days. Ride the Ferris wheel and the sky coaster and whatever other ride you want. Pet some animals. Watch a pig race or some chicken judging. Eat a swiss cheese & butter sandwich on rye and some ice cream and a turkey leg and some fried whatever. Drink a lemon shake-up and go to the various pavilions to see seminars and products and my friend Gena at the “railroad crossings are dangerous so don’t park your car on them!” booth.

You’ll probably have fun and you definitely won’t die on a ride. Because mammaw told me that you’re not gonna drown if you’re born to hang.

 

 

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The Gambler’s Ruin

This is not about gambling. Well, not in the way you might be thinking.

Gambler’s Ruin: The original meaning is that a gambler who raises his bet to a fixed fraction of bankroll when he wins, but does not reduce it when he loses, will eventually go broke, even if he has a positive expected value on each bet. Another common meaning is that a gambler with finite wealth, playing a fair game will eventually go broke against an opponent with infinite wealth.

I’ve been trying really hard to keep things civilized in my social media discourse of late. Occasionally on Twitter I’ll retweet Talib Kweli or Shaun King because these guys are speaking truth to white establishment power in the face of all kinds of racially charged nonsense. I recently engaged in political repartee on Facebook, which was a terrible mistake (because it sucked up time I didn’t really have). However, it got me really digging into a few statistical and philosophical items surrounding the 2016 elections.

It started out looking like this (all verbatim, errors included):

RANDOM FRIEND OF FRIEND (RFOF): I’m voting for Trump because he can grow the economy and rebuild the military better than any choice we’ve got.

ME: Current unemployment rate:

4.7% – it was 7.8% when President Obama took the oath in Jan. 2009.

2016 spending by the federal government (in $):
Dept of Defense – $585 Billion
Dept of Education: $215 Billion

The military is doing just fine.

Here at home, however, Johnny and Jenny still have trouble with math, reading, and finding our enemy’s destroyed country on a map. And if they manage to graduate from college with a bachelor’s degree, Johnny and Jenny will average $26,000 in student loan debt. Double that (or more) if they stick around for a master’s degree. If they’re lucky enough after graduating to also find the job they’ve aspired to through their education, maybe they’ll have that debt paid off in 5-10 years.

So I will courteously ask that you pump the brakes on the military/economy rhetoric for a second and consider that perhaps the issue isn’t that we are all actually poor and actually defenseless; perhaps we just need to learn how to do things more consciously and efficiently.

Sources:

http://www.defense.gov/News/Special-Reports/FY16-Budget

Click to access budget-factsheet.pdf

http://www.bls.gov/news.release/empsit.nr0.htm

https://trends.collegeboard.org/student-aid/figures-tables/cumulative-debt-undergraduate-graduate-studies-time

http://time.com/money/3829776/heres-what-the-average-grad-makes-right-out-of-college/

RFOF: And the Russians weren’t impinging upon Europe, made the fake “shift” to Asia which antagonized China, all his “government” firms are bankrupt” and of course, his admin is the “most transparent” with a full-blown Kilary cover-up, but where’d they come up with that number? Our GDP remains to hover around <2% and we need to be at 4-5% to face our current threats (per every L/R Scholar) which means 5M more jobs….where’s that? Where is it?

RFOF: And I notice you quote Ash (who I’ve worked around my entire post-Army career and respect as a nuclear counter proliferation expert) and he also says we’re going to convert bullets to reconstructed penises into vaginas, give me a break. The obama has something on him, or he’d never be that dumb.

ME: You’re exactly right that we need 5M more jobs to get where we “need” to be, but it is an unattainable number. The trajectory of our current economy – and the form of our current economy, for that matter – is unsustainable.

Automation and the second industrial revolution have ensured that we must begin to think differently about what “work” looks like, how our economy operates, and what kind of role people actually have in building and maintaining it. People have to LEARN how to have real skills again – reading, writing, arithmetic, history, basic philosophy & civics, basic chemistry, biology, physics, botany, agricultural science, architecture, carpentry, basic engineering, and – most importantly – cooking. All of these things begin in the schools and continue at home.

The consumer economy of the last 60 years has always been a gambler’s ruin, waiting for the day we reached bottom and had no chips to cash in.

Bernie and Trump are both right when they say a revolution/change is coming, but their respective shifts look very different, both in process and result.

Credit, stock markets, and modern finance will all have to be reconsidered. At the rate we are going, I believe the real currency in 20 years will be fresh water, arable land, seeds, and livestock. All of this is academic if we don’t start thinking about how to live on an overpopulated planet with a shrinking habitable footprint.

So, to be fair, I put my foil hat on a little bit at the end. But… I’m comfortable with that because I believe it, even if it sounds a little fatalistic. I liked how he referred to US. Secretary of Defense Gen. Ashton Carter by his nickname – “Ash” – like they go way back to West Point or something. Maybe they do – what do I know? Remember: Random Friend of Friend.

But then things got really interesting from RFOF. He dropped this one on me:

It’s not unattainable. Next, big, manufacturing, middle class (my whole life so please don’t think I’m lecturing) move is aerospace/space (and I’m not talking about Gingrich’s dumba** “Mars Colony.” UAVs (UAS per the FAA) and returnable/reusable craft from space (Branson/Musk).

Too much for FB, but I’ll give you a dollar if you’ve heard Trump say that. Two of Killary.

It’s not even an innovation problem, it’s an export problem. So many tech regs…WE NEED LEADERSHIP, not potentates!!!!

In a Shyamalanian twist, RFOF and I are starting to agree. Despite his self-censorship, propensity for acronyms & random CAPS, and a complete lack of copy editing, I’m starting to find some common ground here. I appreciate this, and I let him know that we are finally approaching Promontory Summit.

ME: You’re right. You’re also agreeing with me by saying we need to shift away from consumer industrialism and toward durable goods. Durable goods requires raw materials, and that requires land stewardship. It also requires skills learned through education.

All of those things point to restructuring our military (smarter, more efficient – less standing army, more tactical & flexible), investing in national & state infrastructure, creating a smarter power grid that isn’t dependent on fossil fuels, improving transit systems, and believing in each other again – regardless of religion or country of origin. When we stop fearing The Other, we will start acting like neighbors again – the kind that share tools or borrow a cup of sugar or take cookies & a 6-pack of beer to the new folks across the street.

Then, wonder of wonders, it all ended cordially:

RFOF: I think, that’s a pretty cool post. I’m going to request a recess by Chairman D**** to gather my response (I didn’t use “retort” because that got “gay” after “Pulp Fiction”-no offense-not to you, don’t know you-in General). So I’ll yield my time to ROB K******** our next Congressman from Ohio, so vote for him!

Sigh. I said it ended cordially, not perfectly. Dude still managed to be both racist and homophobic in the same breath. (Seriously – when I heard Samuel L. Jackson say “well, allow me to retort!” I thought it was the coolest thing since air conditioning. Whatever, bro). Also, I don’t know this Rob fellow that’s running for Congress, so I’ve redacted his name. Our mutual friend has also been redacted (Chairman D****, above) as to save him a certain measure of embarrassment after I so thoroughly hijacked his Facebook post.

I still don’t think our economy as we know it is capable of adding 5 Million jobs. It seems more likely that 5 Million military and military-related & manufacturing jobs could shift into new manufacturing, construction and agricultural jobs. I think we need to start increasing the serious work that must be done in land management as it relates to food production. I think the credit & finance, healthcare, higher education, and insurance industries all need to be blown up and restructured in such a way that there is equity for even the lowest among us. Here’s why:

My biggest fear right now isn’t dying in America – it’s getting very sick in America and recovering so that my family & I have to face the costs.

My second biggest fear is figuring out how I will afford to send my kid to college without saddling her with crippling debt. I estimate (fairly, I think) that in 14 years, the annual cost for her to go to the same private university her mother & I went to will be somewhere around $75,000. One year, Seventy-Five Gs. That’s nonsense. Today, 13 years after I graduated, the tuition is in the high $50,000s, annually. I’m not confident that anyone could demonstrate a $30,000 difference between my educational experience and what I might get at a state school. Whose fault is that – mine? My parents for agreeing to send me there? Shall we blame my university, or perhaps, oh, Ohio State? What’s the point in even delegating blame here? There’s just one moral at the end of this – there’s gotta be a better way.

Let’s just hope we’ve still got a stack of chips in front of us when the last hand is laid down.

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We Are Widening The Cooridors and Adding More Lanes

I know it’s been 14 months. Shhh.

The thing you learn when you work for a startup is that it is all about building a brand while also making sure you’re creating something at a consistently high level. That’s hard. We’re fortunate at MadTree Brewing Co. to have a lot of wicked smart, wicked talented individuals who give it their all every day. That makes the hard stuff a little easier, but it also ensures that we are our toughest critics. All of that will lead to success in myriad forms at some point, as long as we stick to it.

For me in my role as a Global Can’bassador, having now settled a bit into a manageable schedule and ironing out the wrinkles of relocation, I want to work a little harder at the brand-building portion of what I do. It sounds crass and tastes cheap & metallic in my mouth to use that phrase – “brand-building” – but I don’t know of a better way to put it. You learn something about yourself and your company when you start selling your product outside of your backyard, in an insanely competitive and innovative marketplace. Columbus is such a region, full of smart folks, but with a widely varying degree of Beer Education. MadTree is recognized as a quality brewery, but not necessarily a sexy brewery. I said long ago that MadTree is the beer you marry – the rest are the ones you date. I think you’ll figure out what I mean in due time.

So, the moral at the end of the story is this: One of the things I’m going to do to help build the brand (both mine and MadTree’s) is to start a series of quick videos about beer that is both inclusive and educational. I’m a MadTree-first guy, but not MadTree-only. There’s a woeful lack of enthusiasm for great beer from many established breweries, simply because they’ve been around longer than 18 months and may or may not have paved the way for breweries like mine to even exist in the first place. I recognize that we stand on the shoulder of giants, and I want to make sure the Craft Beer Enthusiasts don’t lose sight of that. I’ll dig into that in a later post.

Let’s go.

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